Wade sleepily opened his eyes this morning to find me staring at him wide-eyed, “I feel great,” I said. “Here we go,” he said and rolled over to catch some more Z’s.

This is day five on the Isagenix program and I have not felt this good in a long time. Admittedly, my second day of cleansing was a bit harsh but thanks to my coach, which comes free when you purchase the thirty day cleansing  program, Ellen Ganus walked me through it. When Ellen first called me I had been researching the Isagenix website and had just landed on a video of Ellen’s husband proudly introducing her to a crowd of 10,000. None of the other videos had affected me as this one had. Ellen was clearly passionate about the product not to mention, beautiful, vivacious and highly energetic. But even after speaking with Ellen I still wasn’t buying into it. The Network Marketing aspect of the company scared me, it felt too contrived, too polished plus I didn’t have the money to buy the product.

When I found out that the company was eight years old I began to gain more interest but still was very skeptical.  Diets have always scared me and so I began my own program by purchasing a two week cleansing kit from Vitamin Cottage, cutting out all processed and refined foods and lowering my alcohol intake. In a few months I lost five pounds and was feeling great but I was having difficulties keeping up with this regime. Wanting more structure and a nutritional program to adapt to I began to further research the Isagenix products and found that Isagenix is not a diet but a lifestyle. I was impressed with the concept that Isagenix products are designed to feed the body with natural ingredients to get to a healthier place, instead of starving the body. It seemed like a manageable program that a person on the go, like me, could handle and so I bought the Thirty Day Cleanse and Nutritional Program knowing that if I ended up happy with the results I could help coach others to reach their goals and  the product would therefore pay for itself. After all, why wouldn’t I want to help my friends to go on an all natural, organic, nutritional, full body cleansing program that  works on a cellular level to increase their energy and stamina as well as produce lean muscle mass and mental clarity?

As for the negative connotation of network marketing, Ellen has given me a completely different perspective and you can find details of our conversation on my new Nutrition page of my website.

I will be off to Nantucket soon and will be taking Isagenix with me, in the meantime if you are interested in joining my team, I would love to have you on board, so visit the Isagenix website here to do your own research and when you are ready to take the leap to that place where you have always seen yourself but never had the tools to get you there, contact me at isdisnormal@gmail.com and we can call Ellen together for coaching and purchasing cuz:

I’m not afraid,
To take a stand
Everybody
Come take my hand
We’ll walk this world together through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin’ you know that you’re not alone
Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road
Just follow me, I’ll get you there. Let’s do this together – Eminem, “I’m Not Afraid”

I guess that I didn’t have Swine Flu after all. I had all the symptoms without the fever. It raged through me for two days and then it was gone but not without affecting Axel. After reading my last post I realized that it sounds negligent for me to have my boys cuddled up to me when I was sick. What I didn’t point out is that it is close to impossible to keep little ones away from their mothers, sick or not.

My little nurturer must not have washed his hands carefully enough after trying to nurse his mommy back to health and he went down hard over the weekend, which happened to be Wade and my eleventh year anniversary.

I had it all arranged, my good friend Suzanne was going to take all three boys for a sleepover and Wade and I were going to bike up to Ashcroft, where we got married. We were going to lay low after that, since I was still recovering, and go see the film, (500) Days of Summer which was playing at the Crystal Theatre in Carbondale, our favorite place to watch films.

Wade came down to my office and sang happy anniversary to me in his heightened caffeinated state. I tend to ignore him when he is amped up on coffee but this was our anniversary after all and so I gave him a lustful look and promised intimacy just as soon as I finished completing my Children’s Picture Book.

We were about to open up our presents and cards when Axel appeared at the top of the stairs looking frail and spent from a night of coughing. His breathing was belabored and he was fading fast. Wade and I exchanged knowing glances and switched gears.

Axel and I rushed to the doctors before they closed. They gave Axel a mask and we watched the Doctor rush in and out of tiny rooms shouting out, “flu swab in room 3”. We were put in our own little room for an hour and a half and read the measly selection of childrens books that they supplied while dousing our hands with antibacterial soap after every page. Normally I remember to bring our own book but was unprepared this time.

As parents we become very adept at changing our mindsets and expectations. It didn’t matter to me that it was once again the most beautiful day of the year. It didn’t even matter that I had lost yet another day alone with my husband. What mattered the most was that my child was ill and I needed to do all that I could to make him better.

The next day I ran into my neighbor who once was told by a psychic that she was a healer and this I believe. I thought I was doing all that I could to help Axel with home made chicken noodle soup, humidifiers, Slippery Elm tea, salt spray and gargling salt water at night but there is always more one can do.

My neighbor truly understands the healing value of foods, herbs and oils and she loaned me a book that she uses as her bible when her children get sick titled, Gentle Healing for Baby and Child by Master Herbalist Andrea Candee with David Andrusia. The other book that came recommended to me was Healing Healthy: A Guide to Self-Healing for Everyone by Linda Page.

It is a desperate feeling to be a parent with an ailing child and now that Axel is on the mend I intend to thoroughly read these books and delve into the world of natural healing with oils and healthy food.

As for Wade and I, I guess we’ll take a rain check!

Yesterday I went with the boys to get their flu shots and to catch up on well check appointments where they got reminded that candy is not ok and veggies matter. Brevitt is in the 90th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight, my tall skinny kid.

As the boys sat there whimpering about their shots I slowly felt myself crumbling into an achy, shivering mess. Brevitt’s good friend had just had Swine Flu and his mother told me that I had all the symptoms.

I begged for the Doctor to test me but she declined my request stating that I was not eligible for diagnosis since I was not over 65, didn’t have asthma, or heart or lung disease, wasn’t a diabetic and was not obviously in need of emergency care, “yeah not yet you incompetent fool”, I thought to myself! I imploringly asked her what the logic of that was? Wouldn’t it make more sense to test those that have the symptoms so that they don’t innocently walk around infecting the world? After all the hype about THE DREADED SWINE FLU I was in disbelief that they weren’t locking me up in chains and throwing me into the flu contamination room to be quarantined.

Later that evening, Wade was gone on his manly Wednesday night bike ride and the kids immediately saw an open window recognizing that I was in no condition to parent them. We all agreed that a movie was in order, regardless that it was a school night. We may not watch a whole lot of television in our house but we are passionate about our movies, even Tucker  sits through the most sophisticated of movies asking sweet, innocent questions that I try to discourage by teaching him that movies are sacred and must not be interrupted.

We put on the movie and snuggled in together. Axel’s hand was on my forehead, Tucker was draped across my lap and Brevitt’s big puppy dog body was sprawled out on the only coach in the room. My throat was on fire, my body ached and my nose was quickly draining every last bit of mucus out of my body but I was happy to be with my boys in a dark room watching a Hugh Grant flick that my mother had recommended. I was to sick to worry that the content may not be appropriate. Even though I adore my mother and I cannot see a movie or open a book without calling her for the review, her choices, at times, have been questionable like when Axel came home after an evening at his cousins house with Grandma and told me that they had watched a movie about a little boy who sees dead people.

Wade came home at the stroke of midnight to find me wide awake with the shivers worrying that either he had hit another tree and was laying unconscious in the cold wilderness or, even worse, was having an affair. He laughed at me when I told him that I was dying from the Swine Flu while he was out cavorting.

When we first got married I told him that I never wanted to be a burden on the family if I became a vegetable. We agreed that unless he felt a signal from me to show that I was somewhat with it he could let my lifeline go but if I lightly squeezed his hand once it meant keep me going. If I squeezed his hand twice it meant that I loved him and was still cognizant and if I blinked my eyes and squeezed his hand it meant don’t even think of leaving me.

Our joke now is that he confuses the signals. As he walked out of the room last night he bent his head back around the corner and asked, “wait, does one squeeze mean pull the plug?”

We all know that there is a huge difference between men and women when they get sick and Wade’s interpretation was revealed when he called to check in on me today. “Are you resting”, he asked full well knowing the answer. He told me that I was very funny last night preparing for my untimely death. He mocked me in his fake British accent, “I just need to set up the 529 plan for the boys so that they can go to college before I pass”. He pointed out that when he gets sick he sleeps until the sickness goes away but when I get sick I pay the bills, make the meals and make sure that all my ducks are in a row in the mere chance that I may have to go to the hospital for an unlimited amount of time.

Arriving at school incognito I saw my reflection in the window and was mortified to see that I looked like I just left my gang to pick up my kid with my aviator glasses, knit hat, holey jeans, Converse sneakers and huge boyfriend sweater. I slinked away observing all the other well dressed mothers in their knit kilts, high boots and stylish sweaters. The boys and I went home to watch another movie and drink hot cups of tea.

I am grateful that I don’t get sick more often but what I am truly most grateful for is Netflix and kids who love movies!