My excitement to see the film, Where The Wild Things Are, was deflated when I read some mixed reviews about it. I was not ready to suffer through another children’s film where my children and I leave the theater moody and quiet without any desire to discuss the film.

The film, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, was a perfect example of a film gone wrong. The animation was incredible but the humor was embarrassingly flat and over done as if the audience was too stupid to get the point. The film left me feeling angry at the film industry and depressed about how the world has such potential but is filled with such mediocrity. Children want more than just incredible animation, they want emotion and a great story, just as adults do.

Thankfully, a friend recommended that I not take Tucker, my four year old. Admittedly, I am a bit lax when it comes to movie ratings. As long as I know that it is a great film, I don’t worry so much if the content is a bit sophisticated but on a few occasions Tucker has gotten scared and it has stayed with him. The last time we did this was at  the film, Journey to the Center of the Earth. If the clouds even threatened to storm he would start whimpering and I since then have decided that I need to be more discriminating.

Brevitt, Axel and I spent the last of our money on the movie tickets and smuggled in our candy and sodas. As the lights went down I whispered to them that it was not okay to break the rules but I didn’t see any harm in saving $20.00 by bringing in our own candy. In addition to being irresponsible with movies I am teaching them how to beat the system. I never said I was the perfect role model.

The opening scene was shot to Indian war cry music, from Karen O’s indie rock group the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and my hair prickled on my neck, this was going to be good.

Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers did a remarkable job capturing the reality of life and the essence of the original 338 word book written by Maurice Sendak. Max was a boy, just like any other and he wasn’t out to save the world. He didn’t have answers for the monster’s pain and he didn’t make excuses for his faults.

How refreshing it was to see a movie that focused on character development and emotional value. By the end of the movie I was in love with Max Records and his character. I loved how he didn’t pretend to like Judith and I loved his reaction to her when she told him that if he were king he wasn’t allowed to play favorites and he wasn’t allowed to talk back to her, even if she was a pain in the ass. Most boys do not respond well to high emotion and his way of handling her was no different than how my ten year old would have reacted, in fact Max reminded me of all my boys put together. His destructive behavior when he was angry was Axel, his imaginative play and fearlessness was Brevitt and his wildness was all three at any given moment.

As I sat there in the theater with a huge lump in my throat and tears streaming down my face I was overwhelmed by how expertly the movie exposed the love and emotion that occurs between a mother and her son.

Walking out into the light of day I couldn’t help but hug my boys so completely. I love having them with me to witness great pieces of works and get their thoughts on everything.

There is so much for me to show them but I want to do it now, while their minds are still so creative. If only I were courageous enough to sail away with them and explore the wonders of the world, monsters and all.

Yesterday I went with the boys to get their flu shots and to catch up on well check appointments where they got reminded that candy is not ok and veggies matter. Brevitt is in the 90th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight, my tall skinny kid.

As the boys sat there whimpering about their shots I slowly felt myself crumbling into an achy, shivering mess. Brevitt’s good friend had just had Swine Flu and his mother told me that I had all the symptoms.

I begged for the Doctor to test me but she declined my request stating that I was not eligible for diagnosis since I was not over 65, didn’t have asthma, or heart or lung disease, wasn’t a diabetic and was not obviously in need of emergency care, “yeah not yet you incompetent fool”, I thought to myself! I imploringly asked her what the logic of that was? Wouldn’t it make more sense to test those that have the symptoms so that they don’t innocently walk around infecting the world? After all the hype about THE DREADED SWINE FLU I was in disbelief that they weren’t locking me up in chains and throwing me into the flu contamination room to be quarantined.

Later that evening, Wade was gone on his manly Wednesday night bike ride and the kids immediately saw an open window recognizing that I was in no condition to parent them. We all agreed that a movie was in order, regardless that it was a school night. We may not watch a whole lot of television in our house but we are passionate about our movies, even Tucker  sits through the most sophisticated of movies asking sweet, innocent questions that I try to discourage by teaching him that movies are sacred and must not be interrupted.

We put on the movie and snuggled in together. Axel’s hand was on my forehead, Tucker was draped across my lap and Brevitt’s big puppy dog body was sprawled out on the only coach in the room. My throat was on fire, my body ached and my nose was quickly draining every last bit of mucus out of my body but I was happy to be with my boys in a dark room watching a Hugh Grant flick that my mother had recommended. I was to sick to worry that the content may not be appropriate. Even though I adore my mother and I cannot see a movie or open a book without calling her for the review, her choices, at times, have been questionable like when Axel came home after an evening at his cousins house with Grandma and told me that they had watched a movie about a little boy who sees dead people.

Wade came home at the stroke of midnight to find me wide awake with the shivers worrying that either he had hit another tree and was laying unconscious in the cold wilderness or, even worse, was having an affair. He laughed at me when I told him that I was dying from the Swine Flu while he was out cavorting.

When we first got married I told him that I never wanted to be a burden on the family if I became a vegetable. We agreed that unless he felt a signal from me to show that I was somewhat with it he could let my lifeline go but if I lightly squeezed his hand once it meant keep me going. If I squeezed his hand twice it meant that I loved him and was still cognizant and if I blinked my eyes and squeezed his hand it meant don’t even think of leaving me.

Our joke now is that he confuses the signals. As he walked out of the room last night he bent his head back around the corner and asked, “wait, does one squeeze mean pull the plug?”

We all know that there is a huge difference between men and women when they get sick and Wade’s interpretation was revealed when he called to check in on me today. “Are you resting”, he asked full well knowing the answer. He told me that I was very funny last night preparing for my untimely death. He mocked me in his fake British accent, “I just need to set up the 529 plan for the boys so that they can go to college before I pass”. He pointed out that when he gets sick he sleeps until the sickness goes away but when I get sick I pay the bills, make the meals and make sure that all my ducks are in a row in the mere chance that I may have to go to the hospital for an unlimited amount of time.

Arriving at school incognito I saw my reflection in the window and was mortified to see that I looked like I just left my gang to pick up my kid with my aviator glasses, knit hat, holey jeans, Converse sneakers and huge boyfriend sweater. I slinked away observing all the other well dressed mothers in their knit kilts, high boots and stylish sweaters. The boys and I went home to watch another movie and drink hot cups of tea.

I am grateful that I don’t get sick more often but what I am truly most grateful for is Netflix and kids who love movies!

I have been living with a man and three boys for nine years now and I clearly have been in denial. It is not that I don’t love them completely but I sometimes feel as though I am living in prehistoric times.

Waking up to a honking, tooting, furry beast makes marriage feel a bit archaic at times. Were we really designed to live with men day in, day out or was the initial intention for men and women to take care of each other on more of a sporadic schedule that would fit in somewhere between hunting and gathering.

The other morning I walked in to the kitchen to find Wade looking slightly distraught and disheveled. When I asked him what was the matter, he sadly begged once again for me to buy him the imitation spreadable butter. I inquired as to why he didn’t like the spreadable real butter that I kept for him in the French Butter Keeper. He looked at me with his puppy dog beautiful eyes and said that it just didn’t taste like the fake butter.

I have tried to bring more natural and organic food into our home but the family always fights me on it. When I was buying raw milk from Maisy the cow, who lived at the ranch behind our house, they would scour at me as they drank it saying that it tasted too much like a fat cow. I was fighting a losing battle.

I decided that Wade and I needed to break out of our perfunctory routine and go out on a date. We love watching silly, funny movies together, like Old School and we were excited to see The Hangover. I think that Wade likes these movies because he relates to the characters and he lives vicariously through them. The plan was to go out for appetizers and on to the movie.  After the movie, we would indulge on more food and drinks. Ok, that was my plan, Wade had more lustful ambitions for the evening.

As soon as I finished getting dressed, he started to give me his look. I acknowledged the look and gave him my look back that said, “you’ll get yours when I’m good and ready and not before”. I had just gotten dressed and I was not about to take it all off again. It felt good to dress nicely for once and of course, I was enjoying the flirtation and was going to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible.

We went to a local Mexican restaurant and turned up the mood for the movie. When Wade went to tip the waitress he grabbed my wallet and observed that I had lots of one dollar bills.  He asked me if I had secretly been dancing late night, after he fell asleep. I reassured him that I owed the kids money from their chores and had the bank break a ten dollar bill for me.

It felt good to laugh at the movie and we emerged ready to continue the evening. Wade patiently filled my need for intimate conversation and I ignored his need for intimate fornication.

Finally, there was a pause in our conversation and Wade quickly motioned for the check. When I woke up the next morning I expected to see my furry beast snoring away but what I found was a peacefully sleeping beautiful man and I felt lucky that I was married to him. All it took was one evening alone with him to erase the cave man persona. I’m thankful to have friends that will take all three of our boys and look forward to our next opportunity to have another Wade and Jillian getaway.