My oldest sister Melanie-Mouse, of whom I completely adore and admire, did not read my blog for an entire year. But knowing that her life is so much more interesting than mine, I was okay with that. Then something happened, she read my post, A Letter From My Ten Year Old, and she felt the need to go back and read 160 missed posts all at once.

Now Melanie has become an integral part of my blog, commenting on and bringing humor to every post I write, making sure to reveal the truth about who I am lest I not paint the full picture. The best part of it all is that Melanie is doing something that she should have begun years ago but didn’t because she was inhibited by her Dyslexia and her inability to learn how to use spell check. The thing is that Melanie is a great writer, regardless of the misspelled words and grammatical errors, and she is far funnier and more interesting than I could ever aspire to be. She is also encouraging me to break out of my safety zone and be more true to my writing, which begins with this post.

As far as I can remember, Melanie has considered herself the “Black Sheep of the Family,” a label  I never quite understood. In my eyes she was a funny, beautiful, smart Princess adored by all. She does fall in love with the worst men on this planet who put the Baa into “Black Sheep” and I want to slap some sense into her when she calls me sobbing on the phone to tell me that she doesn’t understand why she got dumped again by another good for nothing man who loves his beer more than her. Michele and I insist that her next boyfriend must pass inspection by us before she takes another leap into the Underworld.

Melanie called me this morning after a weekend spent with Eddie Veder in New Orleans and I surprised both of us by breaking into tears and spewing out a litany of my despair, “I was horribly cruel to Axel this morning when he put two different colored socks on and dumped his backpack upside down, Wade and I have to put our house on the market, my mother-in-law’s father passed away last week, I drank a bottle of red wine by myself last night while I cut all of the boys hair and I am realizing that friends who I thought cared really don’t give a rats ass about me and I am about to get older on Sunday.” Melanie became my oldest sister again telling me that all would be alright and that all mother’s have mean moments and that it wasn’t good to drink a bottle of wine by myself and that sometimes friends can be completely disappointing and that I shouldn’t have such high expectations and that no matter how old I am she will always be older and that all made me feel a whole lot better.

The thing is, I am quite aware that some people see me as being an over privileged person who deserves this fate and that our situation is so much better than the masses of people who are losing their jobs and their homes but that doesn’t prohibit me from wanting to scream bloody murder and run away from it all.

But I won’t back down and I shan’t have a “pity party”, as one anti-fan once said, even if I can’t make enough money to supplement Wade’s income and stop us from having to sell our dream house and even if I can’t stop people from polluting our world with unforgivable oil spills and even if I can’t stop global warming and cyclones and Tsunami’s and earthquakes and hurricanes and world hunger and poverty and disease and even if I can’t prevent the deaths and the hatred, I can still keep this world from draggin’ me down and I won’t back down.

Well I won’t back down, no I won’t back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won’t back down

Verse 2
Gonna stand my ground, won’t be turned around
And I’ll keep this world from draggin’ me down
Gonna stand my ground and I won’t back down

Chorus
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground and I won’t back down

Verse 3
Well I know what’s right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on pushin’ me around
But I stand my ground and I won’t back down

Chorus
Hey baby, there ain’t no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground and I won’t back down
No I won’t back down.