It’s Okay to Stay Home and Play
It is difficult, where I live, to make the decision to stay home for the day with the children when all of their friends are out enjoying the great outdoors. But after my dream, I decided we needed a day at home.
Children are a mass of energy and when they join together on a project a musical hum fills the room, never quieting, never stopping. To have a day at home meant that I needed to be the conductor for the music, listening to their ideas for play and helping them to create a rhythmic flow.
The day began with Brevitt being caught red handed with a bag of marshmallows hanging out of his mouth that he was attempting to quickly devour for breakfast, before he got caught. I grabbed them out of his sticky hands and project #1 began, building castles and snowmen with toothpicks and marshmallows.
The hum began with each boy moving in his own direction and singing his own song. Axel cries when we call him a Scientist, adamantly stating that he does not want to be associated crazy looking scientists like Einstein. He begins his “non-scientific” experiments by putting marshmallows and chocolate chips in the microwave and then into the freezer. I wonder if all young scientists begin this way, by experimenting with that which is most accessible, hot and cold. Brevitt created a remarkable castle with complicated tiers and wings and Tucker made a snowman. If I disturbed the energy by trying to break away from it, the turbulence would threaten to bring our musical plane down.
When they began licking and unsticking themselves from their project, I began project #2, moving them in front of a large mirror with a DVD player, a costume box and flashlights. We spent a good hour taking turns dressing up and performing skits to music in the dark.
Brevitt went first, dressing up as a girl in a blond wig and a fun Prada dress that I had bought at a sale during my wild days. Ask me what compelled me to buy a short, orange, stretchy nylon Hawaiian dress with orange tassles on the sleeves and bottom and I will tell you that I used to be very fun.
Brevitt gloated at himself in the mirror, caressing his curves and complaining about his hair. My laughter quickly turned to concern as his dance moves became R-rated. I was going to have to do some serious investigating into where he learned those moves.
We all followed Brevitt’s lead putting on the Prada dress and wig. I appreciated Axel’s more innocent Guns n’ Roses style of dancing, which closely resembled his dad when practicing air guitar. Tucker surprised us with his adeptness at copying his big older brother and my concerns returned.
I made the mistake of leaving the room for a few minutes to prepare a snack and out came that high pitched 911 scream from Tucker.
Evidently, Brevitt had told Tucker to close his eyes while convincing Axel to stick a nerd candy up his own bottom. When Tucker opened his eyes he was happy to find the nerd sitting invitingly in front of him and he popped it into his mouth, a moment in time that he will never forget.
Brevitt was becoming argumentative and pouty and so we took a break from the flow. I wrestled him to the floor and began asking questions but his only answer, as he shook his head back and forth, was “I’m the Prince, and I can do whatever I want.” He gets like this every now and then, stuck in a character and totally impossible and I begin to think that he has a few screws loose. I knew if I wanted the day to continue unscathed I had to get to the bottom of his issues.
Me: “What is going on with you? You seem to be very argumentative these days.”
B-Boy: “I feel like I am always getting in trouble for trying to help people.”
Me (repressing the urge to mention that he had just gotten in trouble because he ingeniously had Tucker eat a lethal nerd): “How about I make it one of my New Year’s resolution to pay more attention before getting upset with you?”
B-Boy: “But you always make resolutions and never keep them.”
Me: “Okay, that will be my other resolution, to keep my promises.”
B-Boy: “I feel like running away because I don’t think before I do stupid things.”
At that moment I noticed that he had put the barrel of a wooden toy gun into his mouth. I got very disturbed becoming concerned that I had neglected to see how depressed he truly was. I was about to go online and search for a children’s psychologist when I noticed the skeletal pile of toothpicks that once was Tucker’s marshmallow snowman. Like a fox, Brevitt had eaten all of the marshmallow projects. Concern turned to anger when I realized that Brevitt’s meltdown was sugar induced and so I kicked him out of the house and moved Axel and Tucker on to Project #3, writing a letter to daddy to convince him that we should get a puppy in the spring.
As the day faded into night I saw how a day connecting with my children, through arts & crafts and conversation, was so sorely needed, tantrums and all. We played Rummy Q and ended the night wrapped in each others arms in the TV room watching a crazy VH1 show called Nitrous Circuit, where young men reach their athletic limits by doing stupid things.
All in all it was a wonderful day and a reminder that as much as the boys need physical activity, they also need a day at home to explore their imaginations and be with their mommy.
January 5th, 2010 at 8:40 am
[...] Okay to Stay Home and Play By isdisnormal (My Original Blog Post: http://www.isdisnormal.com/2010/01/05/stay-home-play/) It is difficult, where I live, to make the decision to stay home for the day with the children [...]
January 5th, 2010 at 11:19 am
You are doing a wonderful job, Jilly. What children really want, though they will never admit it, is time with their parents. Not fabulous excursions or expensive gifts, but time. Because life is lived in moments. And those moments are what will be remembered most.
January 5th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Thank you Darrelyn,
I so agree with you, as always. It is all about Carpe Diem!
January 5th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
Hi Jillian,
You just described my entire holiday week, but with such humor. That dialogue with Brevitt is priceless. So good that you noticed that pile of toothpicks. I was feeling a little bad about not making use of our holidays to do some traveling. We ended up spending time at home just chilling. There were lots of arguments to break up, but a few times we experienced that hum. In any case, regrouping and just being as a family over the holidays seemed to hit the reset button on all of us.
LiLing
January 6th, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Thanks Jillian, reading this was therapy. Now I know where these nightmares come from, I was the youngest sister of three boys and I am sure I have eaten a lot of lethal nerds. You are well practiced in observing the chaos and keeping your head cool, ever thought to become president?
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Only acceptance has you do things differently.
January 6th, 2010 at 6:55 pm
I’m glad I am SAHM, and be closer to my daughter!
Found your site on MBC. I am now a Fan. You can visit my site at http://www.tiddlediddle.com. Would love to have you as my fan too:) Thanks.
BLR Graham´s last blog ..Handmade Infant Booties (0-3 months), Tan/Checkered Black
January 6th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
Hee hee – suggest Axel put those marshmellow and chocolate chips into the MICROWAVE with a graham cracker on top and underneath and see what happens if he microwaves for 10 sec:)
Kristins
kristin´s last blog ..Welcome back . . .
January 6th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Ha ha ha Kristin but NEVER will I fuel the fire!
January 6th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Oh my poor Wilma! Were you adored or abused by your brothers?
President…HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA…………………………………….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 6th, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Hello LiLing,
It is those family moments that we will remember most, and not the blood, sweat and tears that went into making everybody happy!
January 7th, 2010 at 11:01 am
Jillian, sounds like a fun and tiring day. Kudos to you for making it through the entire day with three boys! I loved the second paragraph, beginning with “Children are a mass of energy…” It was poetic.
Lethal terd? Lol! Boys think of the craziest things. My son has just recently discovered his nose. And its contents. Yuck.
Vivianne´s last blog ..A Child’s Plea
January 7th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Sounds like a lovely day! You are absolutely right, they deen activity and time outside but a day like this is also great for their development and for bonding. They grow up so fast, it’s great that you spend quality time with them.
Elisa´s last blog ..Outfit of the week, dirty laundry and a SATC reference
January 8th, 2010 at 7:08 am
Ms. Jillian I do love your blog! Here is an award for you! http://viviannesvista.blogspot.com/2010/01/walking-red-carpet.html
Vivianne´s last blog ..Walking the Red Carpet
January 8th, 2010 at 10:53 am
Vivianne,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love your blog so our feelings are mutual!
January 8th, 2010 at 10:53 am
Thank you Elisa!
January 8th, 2010 at 10:54 am
Hello Vivianne,
Yes, it takes tons of energy and humor to endure a day at home with the boys.
Can’t go there with the bodily function reports!
January 11th, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Jillian,
It is very refreshing to know it is ok to stay home and play. My children are constantly on the go and want to always do some outlandish adventure….. (well…kind of hard when you live in the suburbs of Boston!)when I just want to stay home!!!! Problem is, when we stay home, I end up cooking and cleaning like an old hag house wife! No wonder they would rather climb electric poles outside!
You are an amazing mother
Love, Melanie
January 13th, 2010 at 8:46 am
Yes, Mouse, stay home and play and be prepared to be pushed over the edge.